Showing posts with label buses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buses. Show all posts

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Who Had The Blingest Team Bus?

So the 2012 Tour de France is over, and the sideburns won it - cue OBE, a few weeks in which white vans will give way to cyclists and a general feeling of well-being among British cyclists and fans.


That means it's now time to announce the results of another competition, one that runs alongside the General Classification, King of the Mountains, Points, Youth, Teams and Combativity. It's unofficial, but the sums of money involved are stupendous. It is, of course, the legendary Who Had The Blingest Team Bus? competition.

RadioShack-NissanTrek
RadioShack-NissanTrek's Mercedes (extra blingpoints for the Merc badge) is a fine-looking beast  - and driver Vinny, seen here earning extra pocket money by washing it, is not without his charms either. Hang on a minute, though... Yes! Thought as much! It's the just old LeopardTrek bus given a quick going-over with a can of Dulux "Hot Paprika!" That's not very conspicuous consumption, is it? Minus 20% for that!

However, RSNT have a secret. To save in fuel costs, the bus's engine was removed and the rear wheels were connected to Jens Voigt's stationary bike. This means that it now holds the record for Fastest Bus in the World. Serious bling is, therefore, won back. Also, extra points for replacing the alarm system with a lion.

Cost: N/A if Brian Nygaard paid for it.

RSNT Blingrating: 83%

AG2R-La Mondiale
AG2R-La Mondiale's bus really split opinion among the panel of judges: 30% were reminded of chocolate and liked it, 30% were reminded of poo and didn't, the rest were more interested in how skinny Maxime Bouet's thighs are or had sneaked out for a smoke. Therefore your beloved writer decided to throw democracy to the wind and decide it alone - and it's a thumbs-up, because when it's all shiny and glossy, that shade of brown does indeed look appealing.

It's still a rubbish colour for their shorts though.

Cost: A large enough chunk of the team's budget for there not to be enough left over to buy nicer shorts.

AG2R Blingrating: 70%

Lampre-ISD
Lampre-ISD's pink and blue kit doesn't appeal to everyone, though it's far more popular than the old ; but when the colourscheme is reduced to a few tasteful stripes on their Euromar bus it looks rather stylish. However, since both Lampre and ISD manufacture steel and presumably have access to welding equipment, they could have modified it and come up with a much better vehicle. Fans will, therefore, be very disappointed if Lampre show up next year in anything less impressive that this...
Cost: Probably a fair bit

Lampre blingrating: 10% - it's far too restrained and tasteful to be bling.

Garmin-Sharp
Now that they're co-sponsored by Sharp, Slipstream Sports have more electronic gadgets than the Starship Enterprise and Stephen Fry combined - at a loss as to what they should do with them all, they decided to grab considerable blingpoints by sticking a great big flat-screen TV on the outside of their bus, thus enabling fans to keep up with the action without the effort of actually turning around and facing the direction of the race. Guys, that is class.

Cost: More money than you will ever have in your life

Garmin-Sharp blingrating: 100%

Argos-Shimano

Argos-Shimano are so proud of their bus that they've uploaded a YouTube video showing it off - and they should be proud, too, because it's got a sick paintjob (as the kids would say) and enough gizmos to out-do any one of the modified hot-hatchbacks that hang around the carpark of your local McDonald's every Saturday night. It's also got a multi-screen entertainment system more than capable of pumping out phat beatz, earning the team their unique place as the only non-ProTour squad to make it through to the finals of this exclusive competition. The team has since announced that for the 2013 Tour, the bus will be fitted with a computerised Tyler Farrar detector that will automatically lock the doors and windows if he comes within 10 metres.

Cost: If the bus was filled with 1 Euro coins, it probably wouldn't be enough to buy another one.

Argos-Shimano blingrating: 72% (points deducted for that urinal - why would you want your team bus to look like a public lavvy?)

Orica-GreenEDGE
Other teams thought new kids on the block Orica-GreenEDGE had brought their own private jet when they rocked up to Liège in this barge - which, a highly impressed Ned Boulting reported, was a whole metre longer than Sky's bus! Precisely how long it is was never made clear; Ned tried to estimate it but couldn't due to the rear end of vehicle being over the horizon but, according to rumours doing the rounds at the race, GreenEDGE practiced for some of the shorter stages by riding from one end to the other on the inside as it was being driven to the day's stage town (they didn't practice for the longer stages in the same way, though - that'd just be silly).

According to the International Ned Boulting Fan Club, what really impressed Ned was not the length nor even the revolutionary crash-proof front (achieved by making it an exact copy of a Nokia 3210 cellphone) - it was the on-board fully-fitted washing machine. That, ladies and gents, is bling incarnate.

Cost: Australia's entire GDP between 2006-2011

GreenEDGE blingrating: 100%.

Sky


This is Sky ProCycling's Volvo 9700 Tri-Axle and, no matter where you live, it is better than your house. Stood on end, it would overtake The Shard as Europe's tallest building and it comes fully equipped for intergalactic travel - when in orbit around Earth, it eclipses the sun. It has nine leather seats, sleeping facilities, two showers, two toilets (with super-luxury quilted bog roll), an office that can be converted into a massage suite and - a real essential for nine young men on a road trip - mood lighting. The 10 million watt sound system has reportedly now been reprogrammed to make it unable to play Lesley Garrett CDs.

Cost: probably enough to finance a thousand women's teams for ten years/end world hunger (probably both, with enough change for a bag of chips on the way home), but not nearly as much as sponsor Rupert Murdoch saves through tax avoidance each year.

Sky Blingrating: 95% - judges originally gave it 100%, but deducted 5% when it was pointed out that it doesn't have 24-carat gold wheels.

And the winner is...
Garmin-Sharp and Orica-GreenEDGE both receive 100% blingratings for their mobile überhotels, with GreenEDGE just edging ahead due to theirs being longer than a Jackie Durand solo breakaway. However, while it's not the biggest, Sky's bus with its massage suite is a hard to beat. That they have not one, but two of the monsters means that Sky ProCycling are hereby declared winners of the 2012 Tour de France Who Had The Blingest Bus? competition. Let our rejoicing be without boundaries, and so on.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Cycling News from around the World 09.04.12

Women's Tour of Belgium? - Bjorn Leukeman's Spring campain is over - Sanchez makes Tour plans - Scots bus firm seeks to protect cyclists - Staffs firefighters turn to bikes - Study into female cyclists' sexual health raises concerns - anti-bike Clarkson praises Copenhagen Model - Fixies are bad for your health, warn Singapore scientists


Women's Tour of Belgium
Women's cycling has received a huge boost
in Belgium since the Flanders Classics began
running women's races alongside the men's.
Overheard rumours suggest that a Women's Tour of Belgium may be on the cards in the coming years (not saying how this one found its way to Cyclopunk, but it was via a professional rider on a well-known women's team). There's no confirmation as of yet and any such race would presumably still be in a relatively early stage of planning, but with the Flanders Classics and other Belgian races doing their bit for the sport by running (successful) women's races alongside the men's events it seems reasonable to hope there's a grain of truth behind it all. The race would, presumably, co-exist with the UCI 2.2 Lotto-Decca Tour that runs over three days in August.

Several major women's races have closed in recent years, most notably the Tour de France Féminin which came to an end in 2009 after many years in which organisers found it difficult to find sponsorship. The Giro Donne is currently the most prestigious European women's race and the nearest to a Grand Tour, but with women's cycling enjoying greater popularity in Belgium and the Netherlands than anywhere else on the continent a Tour of Belgium would be likely to match it in importance.


Bjorn Leukeman's Spring campaign is officially over. Having suffered knee pain since a crash at the Tour of Flanders, the Vacansoleil-DCM rider underwent an MRI scan on the 3rd of April and doctors now believe he has damaged his menisci, two cushions of cartilage within the knee that serve to reduce friction between the femur and tibia when the leg bends. He'll now undergo more tests to find out exactly what is wrong, but it looks as though surgery will be required. (More from Vacansoleil-DCM)

Fresh from his unexpected victory at the Tour of the Basque Country, Euskaltel-Euskadi leader Samuel Sanchez plans a quiet spell before the Tour de France and Olympics. "You've got to plan carefully, and I'm not so young now," he says. "Cadel Evans knew very well what he had to do to win the Tour and I think that taking part in fewer races would lave me in a better state for it."


Bikes in the News
Scottish bus firm has cyclist safety at heart
Hardly a week goes by without a new front opening up in the ongoing war between cyclists and buses - and it has to be said that, for every viral video of a bus driver deliberately swerving into a cyclist and every driver who simply can't be bothered to check the mirrors, there's a cyclist so lacking in common sense that he or she was surely destined to end up as a statistic.

A very common complaint among cyclists who report incidents to bus companies is that their concerns are not taken seriously. For that reason, it's great to see that Lothian Buses in Scotland are making a real attempt to address the issue, producing a video in which a bike and a bus negotiate Edinburgh streets with rider and driver linked by radio.. The video, made to form part of the company's driver training program, is called "Bus v. Cyclist - there are no winners" and has since proved to have great educational value for cyclists too and has received numerous positive comments on YouTube. (More from Scotsman.com)


Using bikes to fight fires in Staffs
With fire engines unable to reach some sports and costs ever soaring, Staffordshire firefighters have discovered that mountain bikes are the ideal way to carry out some tasks. Among other roles, they'll be used by firefighters to visit isolated houses, canal boats and other properties that cars and engines have difficulty in reaching so that the rider can give advice and fit smoke alarms.

"This is an innovative and cost effective way in which we can spread our fire prevention and other safety messages to areas of the community that are normally difficult for our fire appliances or other vehicles to reach," says fire prevention officer Neil Pedersen. "It's also of course an added way for firefighters to keep fit and encourages other members of the community to do the same." (More from This Is Staffordshire)

Yale study finds cycling may affect women's sexual health
It's been known for a long time that cycling can cause erectile dysfunction in men, which has led to the so-called anti-PNS (penile numbness syndrome) that are now commonplace. However, there have been precious few studies into what effects, if any, conventional saddles may have upon women.

Specialized were one of the first companies to
study women's cycling and introduce a range
of women-specific bikes and components
Following on from a 2006 study that suggested female cyclists experienced reduced genital sensitivity compared to female runners, researchers from Yale University carried out tests to try to find out the cause - and discovered that the problem becomes worse when the rider adopts a "racing stance" with the handlebar positioned lower than the saddle. Dr. Marsha K. Guess, obstetrician and gynaecologist, says that the study allows doctors to "educate riders on safe riding practices that may actually be beneficial to reduction of pressure and lost sensation in the pelvic floor."

Dr. Steven M. Schrader of the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health was the author of an earlier program that studied PNS in male police officers and concluded that the most effective remedy was the use of "noseless" saddles: "If you don’t put weight there [on the perineum], there’s no pressure," he says. However, anyone who has experimented with a noseless saddle will know that removing the part between the thighs also reduces bike control, and female racing cyclists will be no more willing to give up their streamlined stance than male cyclists. It seems, therefore, that further study is required in order to develop more effective women-specific versions of anti-PNS saddles. (More from the New York Times)

Clarkson praises Copenhagen biking
He does it in a roundabout way and smears it with a hefty dollop of ridiculous quasi-controversial statements in an effort to maintain the tedious public image image that is, apparently, the sole reason for his fame and fortune; but Jeremy Clarkson has come out in favour of Copenhagen's world-famous cycling policies.

After attacking British cyclists in his characteristic "comedic" fashion, the Top Gear presenter - who frequently refers to cyclists as road lice - used his Sunday Times column this week to say, "In Copenhagen it’s just a pleasant way of getting about. Nobody wears a helmet. Nobody wears high-visibility clothing. You just wear what you need to be wearing at your destination. For girls that appears to be very short skirts. And nobody rides their bike as if they’re in the Tour de France. This would make them sweaty and unattractive, so they travel just fast enough to maintain their balance. The upshot is a city that works. It’s pleasing to look at. It’s astonishingly quiet. It’s safe. And no one wastes half their life looking for a parking space. I’d live there in a heartbeat."

The so-called Copenhagen Model, which seeks to promote bicycle use as much as possible, is almost universally admired by urban planners, architects, transport experts and cyclists alike and has led to the invention of the term copenhagenisation for similar programs. (More from Bike Biz)

Fixie trend may lead to health problems
Fixies - for the painfully hip
Than Chen Munn of Singapore's Safe Cycling Task Force advises novice cyclists to think twice before buying fixed-gear bicycles and says that riders need to have gained a good understanding of road safety before they can be safe riding them.

Fixies have no freewheel or freehub, meaning that the pedals will continue turning as long as the rear wheel is in motion. While the law requires all bikes sold to be fitted with at least a front brake in some countries, they're commonly removed, which leaves the rider reliant on using his or her leg muscles to force the bike to slow using the pedals. This technique requires a great deal more effort than conventional brakes, which may encourage some novice riders to avoid stopping at red lights - a cited cause of several accidents involving fixies, especially in the last few years when they've become enormously popular among urban riders.

Gino Ng, a scientist at the Sports Solutions clinic, also in Singapore, believes that fixies may lead to health problems. "If cyclists use their legs to stop the bicycle after going very fast, it may damage the ligaments in their knees and legs," he explained. (More from AsiaOne)