However, RSNT have a secret. To save in fuel costs, the bus's engine was removed and the rear wheels were connected to Jens Voigt's stationary bike. This means that it now holds the record for Fastest Bus in the World. Serious bling is, therefore, won back. Also, extra points for replacing the alarm system with a lion.
Cost: N/A if Brian Nygaard paid for it.
RSNT Blingrating: 83%
It's still a rubbish colour for their shorts though.
Cost: A large enough chunk of the team's budget for there not to be enough left over to buy nicer shorts.
AG2R Blingrating: 70%
Lampre blingrating: 10% - it's far too restrained and tasteful to be bling.
Cost: More money than you will ever have in your life
Garmin-Sharp blingrating: 100%
Argos-Shimano are so proud of their bus that they've uploaded a YouTube video showing it off - and they should be proud, too, because it's got a sick paintjob (as the kids would say) and enough gizmos to out-do any one of the modified hot-hatchbacks that hang around the carpark of your local McDonald's every Saturday night. It's also got a multi-screen entertainment system more than capable of pumping out phat beatz, earning the team their unique place as the only non-ProTour squad to make it through to the finals of this exclusive competition. The team has since announced that for the 2013 Tour, the bus will be fitted with a computerised Tyler Farrar detector that will automatically lock the doors and windows if he comes within 10 metres.
Cost: If the bus was filled with 1 Euro coins, it probably wouldn't be enough to buy another one.
Argos-Shimano blingrating: 72% (points deducted for that urinal - why would you want your team bus to look like a public lavvy?)
According to the International Ned Boulting Fan Club, what really impressed Ned was not the length nor even the revolutionary crash-proof front (achieved by making it an exact copy of a Nokia 3210 cellphone) - it was the on-board fully-fitted washing machine. That, ladies and gents, is bling incarnate.
Cost: Australia's entire GDP between 2006-2011
GreenEDGE blingrating: 100%.
Cost: probably enough to finance a thousand women's teams for ten years/end world hunger (probably both, with enough change for a bag of chips on the way home), but not nearly as much as sponsor Rupert Murdoch saves through tax avoidance each year.
Sky Blingrating: 95% - judges originally gave it 100%, but deducted 5% when it was pointed out that it doesn't have 24-carat gold wheels.
And the winner is...Garmin-Sharp and Orica-GreenEDGE both receive 100% blingratings for their mobile überhotels, with GreenEDGE just edging ahead due to theirs being longer than a Jackie Durand solo breakaway. However, while it's not the biggest, Sky's bus with its massage suite is a hard to beat. That they have not one, but two of the monsters means that Sky ProCycling are hereby declared winners of the 2012 Tour de France Who Had The Blingest Bus? competition. Let our rejoicing be without boundaries, and so on.