They've been a bit quiet of late, however, leading some sections of the cycling press to forget all about them and concentrate on writing articles about how Bertie Contador should probably take a leaf out of Hippy Dave Zabriskie's book and adopt the vegan diet. But Spyclopunk, Cyclopunk's crack investigative journalism division, doesn't give up so easily; having secret channels and means of finding out what's going on in the secret research and development departments of the bike manufacturers - including access to covert military satellites capable of taking control of computers on Earth, entering "funny bike pictures" into Google and making up a story based on the results.
|Cervelo S3, seen yesterday and drooled over in the bike shop|
That's how we are once again able to bring you breaking news, revealing Cervelo's latest project - a new bike fitted with state-of-the-art "stealth" technology, with which they believe the Garmin-Cervelo team will be able to win the 2012 Tour de France.
"Well, it's a pretty simple idea really," said Cervelo engineer Bob Norris, who wishes to remain anonymous. "Basically, the idea is we build an invisible bike and then the guys on the team can whip past the other riders without them knowing about it. That way, the other teams will think our guys are back in the grupetto or have been kidnapped by a UFO or something and not give chase. It's genius. Mwa ha ha ha!"
Spyclopunk, who has a deserved reputation for asking hard-hitting questions, pointed out that the other teams might consider it a little odd and raise suspicions when they noticed Garmin riders passing them, apparently levitating in the racing crouch.
|Cervelo's amazing new stealth bike, photographed by Spyclopunk|