Monday, 1 August 2011

We Like... The Red Bull MiniDrome

You know what? This could just turn out to be the best thing that's happened to track cycling since the invention of the bike (and believe me, it was really boring before that).

The thing is, only BMX and mountain biking are considered cool - or hot, or bear, or wicked or whatever it is The Kids say when they approve of something these days - by the vast majority of young people. Skinny tyres and lycra most definitely are not.

But imagine this scene: some town somewhere, a couple of massive trucks with "Red Bull Tour" pitch up. The local yoof get excited - Red Bull means skateboarding, trials bikes, BMX and other good things. Since life as a teenager in Urban Britain is so dreadful it's almost beyond words, this immediately looks set to be the best thing any of them can remember ever happening; so before you know it you've got about fifty million kids milling around. They watch the heroes getting big air on the ramps and wish they could do the same. Some of them will give it a go and be the heroes next year. Others will think, "Blimey! That's a bit high for me!" Then, those kids will see the MiniDrome and think, "Ah! Now that looks my sort of thing, by golly! All you do is ride around as fast as billy-o!"

So, they roll up on their half-ton supermarket specials and have a few laps of the track, probably enjoying the thrill and applause and discover that they really like track cycling. Later that day, it occurs to them that they could go even faster with a proper track bike so the next day they fire up the iPad and have a look at what their paper-round wages can get them - and discover the wonderful world of track cycling in all its glory.

Red Bull - gives you wings. And genius ideas.
(That logo is, obviously, totally copyrighted up to the eyeballs by real lawyers and stuff. We're using it without permission and are hoping that, since Red Bull are obviously a very cool sort of company and interested - as are we - in promoting cycling, they'll keep those lawyers chained up won't sue us or anything. Be aware of this should you decide to copy it and use it for something else - and if you do so, that's entirely your own responsibility and nothing to with us whatsoever, at all, full stop. Cyclopunk does not encourage you to do anything that could get you in trouble with your mum.)
By the end of the week they're getting together with other kids who had a go and were similarly impressed. Then, they start badgering the council, just like the BMX and skate kids did a few years back, and because the council want to be seen to be doing their bit to improve public fitness - and the next thing you know, there's half-scale velodromes springing up all over the place just like half-pipes have been, perhaps even a full-scale one for every county. Within two years, track cycling is massively popular and the country finds itself with some of the best young riders in the world, most of whom would never even have heard of the sport had it not been for that funny little Red Bull MiniDrome.

Four years later, British cyclists thrash the entire world at the Olympics. Sorted.

They say Red Bull gives you wings. Apparently, it gives you genius ideas, too.

No comments:

Post a Comment